Fri 5 Dec, 2008
At one point in time, one had to question what he was doing: whether one was doing things right, what the progress was, what the progress might be, whether it made sense anymore. Seeking advice would be a good move in that direction.
J. was a dark woman who was tall and thin and ran marathons when she wasn’t working for Yin May. She was also, as he understood from Yin May, a sensible woman to whom she always looked for advice. When they talked from his swivel chair, he had the impression of seeing a psychiatrist.
J.’s stand was that it was really up to him to decide whether he should continue the pursuit in spite of the difficulties already clear from the start. As a man, however, it was suggested that he kept good his word when he said he wanted her and would go to all means to get her, since to give up on his pursuit would make Yin May lose all respect, and therefore, any possibility of love for him. At the same time, to speak of his love for her incessantly would suggest an absence of faith, almost as though he needed constant self-assurance to believe in his love for her. He should therefore keep his love to himself.
He must not demand any promise of love from her too, since it was difficult enough for her to make a choice on her own without him pressing her for an answer: by doing that, he would undoubtedly push her towards eliminating him as a choice, and J. strongly advised him against it. To be fair, though, he needed to know that love cannot be forced and that if she did not love him, she could not and would never do. As such, he had to at some point in time give up, in the manner of a sensible man, rather than waste excessive time and energies on an impossible pursuit like a senseless maniac, which would also lose him respect before her, and with it the possibility of love.
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